You Gave Me Three Cigarettes To Smoke My Tears Away

Isn't it interesting how listening to Damien Rice while updating my livejournal has become a tradition? I just can't seem to update without my beautiful Damien Rice playing in the background.

I have neglected this journal, though I'm not quite sure why.

So, let me bring you up to speed.

In my last post, I was moaning and groaning about how much I hate marching band. Well, things change. I'm in love with it. I'm addicted. Marching band is my therapy. A metronome constantly keeps tempo in my head. I find myself mentally running the first movement in my head while I rest my head in my arms during Physics. Marching band just makes it all better. If it wasn't for marching band, I would have never gotten a crush on Patrick and the other guy. I would have never become friends with Tabitha. I wouldn't have lost so much weight, or improved so much on My Precious. I would have never discovered the delight of a simple roast beef sandwhich, or written a song about STD's. I would never have found myself conducting music in my head or discovered the joy of standing on my toes. Marching band is my life now, and I never want it to end. Marching band is something I'd want to do for a living. Marching band challenges me, makes me cry, makes me laugh, makes me push myself, makes me happy, gives me pride, and gives me esteem. I don't know what I'll do with myself once marching band season is over.

My cell phone died today. I'm so upset. I got it wet at Six Flags and it doesn't want to turn on anymore. I'm so stupid...

Emily won't believe me when I try to tell her how wonderful she is. I was sobbing throughout our whole conversation because she just wouldn't understand. Why does she insist on being so stubborn?

School is alright so far, but the only things I care about are Psychology and Band. Unfortunately, I have band class only every other day, but with marching band, it's as if I have it every day, which is not a bad thing at all. Not at all. Unfortunately also, I only have Psychology this semester. Plus, I have it first thing in the morning, which saddens me that I have nothing to look forward to on B days. My ideal day would be Band until lunch, then Psychology after lunch, then marching band from 4:00 - 10:00. And I would live at school, with all my friends and marching band would be my life. Then I do believe I would be truly happy.

It feels so good to cry tears for someone else.

I am no good.

I'm using a new shampoo and it's working miracles in my hair.

I think I'm going to go upstairs to my mother's room and listen to some old downloaded music from the old computer. The one song I have in my mind particularly is Obsession by SeeSaw. It's such a beautiful song...