And They All Lived Happily Ever After

Sunrise, sunset, sunrise sunset.

Swiftly go the days.

It's been two and half months since marching season ended. It's ok. Now I can focus on improving my concert skills. I'm in Jazz Band now, which is really hard. We've got a new incredibly challenging piece in Symphonic I with this incredibly difficult Alto Sax part. Only Aaron can play it. Surprise, surprise. Plus, I'm in the sax quartet at our school, and the music is pretty challenging, as well. Isn't life grand?

Sunrise, sunset, you wake up then you undress.

It always is the same.

My sleeping patterns are horrible. I can't sleep in school anymore because I am no longer taking Physics, and I only get five and half hours of sleep a night. But somehow...my body gets sufficient energy. Maybe that's why I'm so hungry all the time. My body doesn't re-energize from sleep, so I need food to get the energy I lack? I don't know. I just made that up.

A sunrise and a sunset, you are lying while you confess.

Keep trying to explain.

Lately I've been finding myself trying to keep things from my friends. I suppose it's a good thing, because I'm starting to believe that they know too much about me. Like, for example, my big secret right now...I'm not even ready to write it down on paper...

The sunrise and the sun sets, you realize and then you forget,

What you have been trying to retain.

My short-term memory is failing me. Everyone remembers all these things that I never can. It feels as if everyone clings to my every word, but that's not the case. Their memory is fine. I'm the one hurting everyone else when I can't remember their thoughts and words and feelings. I hurt my friends, and myself. I wish I wouldn't do that...but I can't help it...

But everybody knows it's all about the things that get stuck inside your head

Like the songs your roommate sings or a vision of her body as she stretches out on your bed.

She raised her hands in the air and asked you when was the last time you look in the mirror because you've changed.

Yeah, you've changed.

I still haven't found my identity. All I know is that I succeeded last year in showing off who I wanted people to think I was. Too bad it's hurting me now. Too bad it's not what I want now. I believe I've changed a lot.

He wants an apartment to live in next year. All the more reason for me to fall for him. I love independant men. Men who can take care of me.

The other one wants a better roommate. How I wish I had another chance to prove that I'm not the person he remembers me to be.

Sunrise, sunset, you're hopeful then you regret.

The circle never breaks.

I've had a large amount of "crushes" this year. I raise my hopes, then they come crashing down. Very down....Especially after the whole Michelle and Jamie thing. That one hurt like a bitch.

With each sunrise and sunset, there is a change of heart or address.

Is there nothing that remains?

What am I going to do when I "grow up"? My heart is set out on becoming a Music Teacher. But I mean...this changes every month or so. Will this be what I'm going to want for the rest of my life?

What about that vision that I had so long ago?

I guess what I was watching on TV during that vision doesn't matter. All that matters is the pottery I'll be making and the beautifully decorated room, and the clothes I'll be wearing...I suppose.

For a sunrise or a sunset, you're manic or you're depressed.

Will you ever feel ok?

I cried at school Friday. In front of Emily. I told her one reason, but it was more another reason than the reason I told her. I need to stop this whole crying thing...

It's a sunrise or a sunset, your lover is an actress.

Did you really think she'd stay?

Michelle is all obsessive about the whole Jamie thing and about The Mystery Mistake. It's the mistake she must have made to make him decide that he didn't want anything more with her than just friendship.

Maybe it's not you, Michelle. Maybe he's the jerk. Maybe he's the cold one. Maybe he's the one that built a wall. Maybe he's the one that made the mistake...

What a jerk...

For a sunrise and a sunset, you're either coming or you just left.

But you're always on the way.

Why is it that I can't live a day without liking ANYONE? This feeling will never leave me alone...

Towards a sunrise or a sunset, a scribble or a sonnet.

They really are just the same.

I've been writing too much. I have this journal, a livejournal, a xanga, the NBOD, and my own personal journal. Is it too much? I don't think so...but you never know. It's making me become very...self-absorbed.

I don't know.

To the sunrise and the sunset, the master and his servant

Have exactly the same fate.

This applies to something....damnit, it really does. But this applies to the thing of which I cannot speak nor write....

It's a sunrise and a sunset, from a cradle to a casket

There's no way to escape.

I've come to like myself a lot more lately. A lot more. And I'm glad. It's about time. Don't get me wrong, there are some times where I really really deeply hate myself...but then again...I'm really the only person I can depend upon. Thinking that helps me...a lot.

The sunrise and the sunset, hold your sadness like a puppet

Keep putting on the play.

I cannot show Michelle my sadness. I cannot show her how much that hurt me. I cannot show her the tears I cried. I cannot tell her the words I said. I cannot tell her what's wrong with me. I cannot.

But everything you do is leading to the point where you just won't know what to do

And at that moment you may laugh but there is someone there who will be laughing louder than you.

So it's true, the trick is complete. You've become everything you said you never would be. You're a fool.

You're a fool.

Self-fucking-explanatory.

Sunrise, sunset, sunrise, sunset, the sunrise and the sunset.

Sunrise, sunset, go home to your apartment and put the cassette in the tape deck and let that fever play.

I must stop getting emotionally attached to songs. Like Clocks, A Perfect Sonnet, Sunday Bloody Sunday, Marche Slave, Suteki Da Ne, Champagne Supernova, Shostakovich's Symphony No. 10, Second Movement, This Celluloid Dream, Satellite....etc.

Sunrise, sunset, where are you Arienette?